


Not So Gentle

by CalledFor



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Biting, Blood Drinking, F/F, Fluff, PWP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-02-26 13:27:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2653613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalledFor/pseuds/CalledFor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set a few weeks after all the horrible stuff is over and everyone is happy and lalala. Laura thinks Carmilla is holding back a little and wants her to let loose a bit. She doesn't have to be so gentle with her all the time. More or less PWP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First time I'm writing smut. Bear with me guys.
> 
> I go by honestlynatalie on tumblr.

Why did it have to start raining like that? Carmilla and I had a lovely walk to get all kinds of sugary goodness for what we had planned to be a lazy Saturday night in our dorm. But halfway back from the store, the skies had opened up and decided everything was dirty. Except, I just got more dirty because while running from the rain, I slipped and fell into mud. Carmilla actually managed to hold back laughter and I suspected it was because she felt bad for not catching me.

I walk out from the bathroom after a quick shower and a change of comfy clothes. I don’t have time to close the door before she’s kissing me and guiding me gently into her bed.

“I’m sorry for not catching you, sweetheart,” She says after pulling slightly away to look at me. Even though she has turned off most of the lights, the moon is shining brightly into our dorm tonight and I can clearly see her beautiful, dark eyes.

“It’s okay. It’s not like I was hurt or anything. Besides, it’s not your job to rescue me from my own clumsiness. Now, put your lips back where they were.” She raises an eyebrow at me, but leans down to capture my lips with hers. I moan into the kiss and I feel my heartbeat quickening, a familiar ache stirring between my legs. Her hands are slowly stroking my waist with feather light touches. I know what that means. She’ll take my shirt off, but she’ll take her time. It’s kind of driving me crazy.

I want more.

“Carmilla,” I say, making her lift her head and look at me. Her eyes are dark and glazed. I run a hand through her hair and I smile. “I love the way you touch me, but you don’t always have to be so gentle. I’m not made of glass, you know.”

She looks at me questioningly, like she doesn’t quite get what I’m saying. I guess she isn't used to me talking much when we have sex. She usually makes me speechless within seconds of touching me. I do find it difficult to talk right now and I have to concentrate with her lying on top of me, breathing heavily. But I need her to hear this.

I lean up to kiss her and then I move my lips to her jaw,to her neck, slowly gracing my tongue along the way towards her ear. She shivers and moans. It still baffles me that I'm able to make an actual vampire react like this, like she weakens at my touch. “You can be rough with me sometimes if you want. _I_ want you to be rough. I want you to…” I pause for a second; my confidence feels like it’s faltering for a moment because I don't usually say things like this. I don't let it falter. I want to see her reaction to this. “Carm, I want you to _fuck_ me,” I whisper as I let my lips ghost over the sensitive skin of her earlobe.

Carmilla actually growls.

It's a deep rumble in her throat and _my god_ , it makes me throb. Her hips thrust forward, as if by instinct and I think it actually is. As a vampire, I’m pretty sure she has a hunger, an animalistic drive that's stronger in her than in humans. It scares me a bit, but it also turns me on. It _really_ turns me on and I want to experience it. It's part of who she is. I don't want her to hold back from me because she doesn't think I can handle it. I trust her completely and I know she won't hurt me.

I know she's been holding back because she has shown signs of it earlier, always taking things slow. She's still passionate and urgent, but she tends to pull back when she thinks it's too much. Like the other day when she was sitting on her bed with me straddling her lap, and I was rolling my hips against her, she grabbed a fistful of my hair and I almost came on the spot. I had moaned into her mouth and increased my movements, but she let go almost immediately and laid me down on the bed making me forget about hair pulling because her lips had slowly travelled down my throat, to my chest and she soon had me coming into her mouth.

I thrust my hips up to meet hers as her lips attach to mine and I run my tongue along her bottom lip. I want her to get how much I want this, so I slide a hand up her neck and grab her hair while the other hand grips her ass and pushes her harder against me.

Carmilla pulls her mouth away from mine. "Oh fuck, Laura. Wait."

I open my eyes and I'm met with pupils more dilated than I've ever seen them before. Her chest is heaving and _is that fangs?_

She must have seen my eyes linger on them because she touches her tongue to the sharp points and I see her eyes widen as she realizes what's happened. She sits up with her knees on either side of my legs and covers her mouth with her hand. It muffles her voice when she speaks. "I'm so sorry, Laura. I didn't mean to..."

"Oh no, you don't," I say firmly as I sit up closer to her, sliding my arms around her waist. "I'll be damned if you apologize for wanting me. I'm not stupid. I understand that sex can bring out certain things in a vampire. I don't want you to hide who are, I want you to show me." I reach up and put my hand on hers, trying to pull it down. It doesn't move.

"Please, baby," I whisper before I kiss the back of her hand where her lips would've been if she wasn't covering them. Finally she slackens her hand and lets me pull it away. Her mouth is closed. I lean in to kiss her again and when she opens her mouth for me I realize her fangs have retracted. I break the kiss to look into her eyes. She looks shameful and I feel a tug in my heart. I don't want her to feel like she did anything wrong.

"Carm, stop doing this to yourself." I stroke her jaw. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. You haven't done anything wrong. Now, let them back out again. I want to see you. Please?"

"Okay," she whispers, her eyes lowering.

Her fangs slide out in less than a second while her upper lip slightly lifts, like a cat when it's hissing.

Carmilla is completely silent though, still not letting her eyes meet mine. My heart pounds at the sight of her glistening fangs and I know she can hear it. I slowly stretch my thumb to her mouth, stroke it across her upper lip and down to one of them. She keeps still for me and my heart flutters at that. They're dangerous, I know, but I also think they're kind of beautiful. They're very _her_. And because of that I find them sexy.

At that thought, my breath quickens again and I remember what we were actually doing before they came popping out. "Can I kiss you like this?" I ask. Her eyes are back on mine again and I see her fear slipping away. She nods.

I lean forward and I meet her lips again. She's slow, oh so slow. And I absolutely want her to take me. "Carm," I breathe against her lips. "Remember what I just asked you to do?" I shamelessly grind my hips upwards for emphasis.

Carmilla lets out a sharp breath and her nostrils flare. "Gods yes, Laura. Of course I remember."

And then, without even registering how, I'm on my back again and Carmilla is kissing me hard. Her hips are gyrating between my legs and I feel like I might pass out. The t-shirt I’m wearing, hers actually, is ripped open and then Carmilla's lips are on my neck, sucking hickeys that she somewhat soothes with her tongue, before moving to the next unmarked patch of skin. I can feel her fangs slightly scraping on me and it makes my head spin. She grabs my wrists and pins them over my head, grinding even harder down on me. I'm pretty sure I might come from this alone because _yesss,_ this is what I wanted.

Her mouth is at my ear. "Laura, tell me if you want to stop and I promise I will."

I almost laugh at the absurdity of that, but instead I moan because one of her hands are now gripping my waist, pulling me as close to her as possible. Her other hand is still holding my wrists and there’s no way I could get loose if she didn’t want me to. I know she’d let go as soon as I asked, but the thought is still thrilling.

The hand on my waist trails down my sweat pants and she brings her fingers under the hem, stroking just under the top of my panties from one hip bone to another. My hips rise in anticipation and I’m pretty sure that was a whimper leaving my mouth. The sound seems to have an effect on her because she actually growls again and lifts me with no effort at all into her lap. I love this. Straddling her and looking directly into eyes shining with want.

She kisses me and her tongue instantly enters my mouth and meets mine. This time, she’s the one to moan and I’m pretty sure my eyes roll back at the sound. She snaps open my bra, breaks the kiss and removes it in a quick motion. To my surprise she trails her nails up my back, and it’s hard enough to sting a little, while she runs a warm tongue over my right nipple.

“Fuck!” I exhale. The combination of pleasure and pain is making me shiver and arch into her. I feel wetness making the seam of my panties glide effortlessly against my clit, but it’s so not enough.

“Carm, I need- I need…” I don’t get to tell her what I need because apparently she already knows and puts me down once again before getting up from the bed. “What are you-“ I start, but before I can even finish the sentence she’s pulled my pants and panties off with what I’m pretty sure is vampire speed.

She then grabs the hem of her shirt and slowly pulls it up. Her eyes are locked on mine. She is teasing me and it’s completely on purpose, but I don’t mind because I get to see her unwrap herself for me. _I_ get to take all this in. She is not wearing a bra and the moon highlights her smooth skin. My teeth take a hold of my lower lip on their own accord because this might be too much for me to handle. I could drop dead any second now because a vampire, _my vampire_ , undressed for me.

When she finally lifts the shirt over her head, her body stretch after her arms and I can see slightly defined muscles ripple under her skin. I forget how to breathe. I forget how to _think_ , as she bends down to remove her pants and panties. My eyes follow the swell of her ass and my mouth goes dry.

The vampire speed is back and within a second she’s on top of me again. One hand is on my thigh, another clutching my hair and she grinds her hips down. She's so slick against me. _I_ did that. I affected a centuries old vampire like this. I don't think I'll ever get over that feeling. But more importantly, I made _Carmilla_ react like this. The girl I'm in love with. I pull at her neck to meet her lips with open-mouthed kisses.

I moan at the feeling of our wet cunts and tongues pressing together while she continues thrusting her hips. It feels like I'm going insane if she doesn't touch me soon.

Oh, but she knows. Of course she knows, because her lips are at my ear again and she whispers, "Do you want me to fuck you now, Laura?"

Oh. My. God. She is talking dirty to me. It's something I didn't think I needed until now. I didn't think I could get more wanton than this. Apparently I was wrong. I'm unable to answer and I just let out another loud moan.

Carmilla hums and continues her apparent mission to kill me with words. "I didn't quite catch that, love. Maybe I wasn't making myself clear enough. Laura, do you want me to touch you and slide my fingers inside you?" She bites my earlobe hard enough to make it hurt a little. I whimper. "Do you want me to fuck you hard and fast until you come for me?"

Nothing in the world could've prepared me for how this affects me. I shudder and my forehead is sweating. I want to answer her. I want to beg to have her inside me, but I’m unable to do it, because my brain has forgotten how to execute simple basics, like breathing or talking.

I’ll have to thank her later for realizing this, because she finally runs two fingers over my slippery folds and pushes them inside me. My body arches far off the bed to meet them.

The low rumbling of her growls are in my ear as she pulls her fingers out and push in again. Hard.

“Aaaaah, fuck.”

She’s fast, her hand in my hair pulling hard as she fucks me even harder. I’m gasping. The bed is creaking. My ears are ringing.

“God, I love hearing you say that,” she whispers. “I love taking you like this. You’re so wet for me.”

I’m barely coherent enough to register her words, but I do, and I can feel my orgasm approaching fast because dirty talking might be my new favourite thing. I’m reduced to a whimpering, writhing mess underneath her. Her fingers are repeatedly hitting the spot inside me that’s making my voice reach an octave higher than I thought it could ever reach.

And then her mouth is on my neck again. I feel the fangs scraping and I know what she wants to do. She won’t let herself do it. Through my haze of pleasure and what feels like being close to oblivion, I realize I want her to do it. I want her to take me the way she wants.

Miraculously, I find my speech. “Do it. Just- Aaah… Please, Carm. Bite me!”

It isn’t a growl this time. This time, it’s a high pitched moan leaving her mouth. I’m too far gone to actually be surprised that she doesn’t question me at all, before she sinks her fangs into my neck.

It hurts so incredibly good. The combination of Carmilla fucking me and the sweet sting of her bite makes me fall over the edge. I feel myself clench around her fingers, colors explode behind my eyelids, warmth spreads to every part of my body and I’m pretty sure I’m dying.

What a fantastic way to go.

However, I’m still very much alive when I open my eyes again. Carmilla is lying on her back, holding me close. She’s stroking my hair while her other hand is pressing gently against the puncture wounds on my neck. I raise my head slightly to look at her. She smirks at me.

“Hey, Cupcake.”

“Hey, you,” I answer lazily.

She removes her hand from my hair and reaches behind her to grab a bag from her shelf. She rummages through it and pulls out a band aid.

“Carm, why do you have band aids in your bag?” I slur a bit, exhausted from what was probably the best orgasm of my life.

She shrugs. “Oh, you know. Sometimes they come in handy.” She opens it with her teeth and places it gently on my neck. “There. I’m sorry I bit you.” I can see the uncertainty in her eyes.

I sit up a bit. “No, please don’t be sorry. I asked for it, okay? I wanted it.” I move to lie on top of her and I kiss her gently. There’s a faint taste of blood there, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m pretty sure the thought of this would’ve disgusted me before I met her, but I love her. I absolutely love this woman for all she is. Nothing about her disgusts me. She thrills me. She fills me with delight. She makes me feel like I can do anything. I want her to know that.

“I love you. I love everything about you. I love the things you do to me. I love that you want me. I love that you care about me. I love that you love me. Carmilla, I want you to be yourself with me because I love you for you,” I whisper against her lips.

Her eyes meet mine and I swear they are teary. “I love you too, Laura.”

She pulls me into a sweet kiss that quickly escalates when our tongues come into play. I break the kiss to whisper breathlessly into her ear. “And that bite? So. Fucking. Hot.”

She’s growling again by the time I’m kissing my way down her body.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same night, only later. This time from Carmilla's POV.

"Oh."

My eyes open at the sound. That voice could bring me out of the deepest sleep or any nightmare. It’s the only constant I have ever had, the only thing to ground me so completely. So when it graces my ears so close in the night, I can’t help but stir from my slumber.

She is lying halfway on her side, halfway on her stomach. My arm is draped over her naked back and my body has followed her in my sleep. There is heat emanating from her, to the point where my first thought is one of worry. _Does she have a fever?_

I hear, I feel, her heart beating fast beneath me, pumping life through her. I inhale instinctively for the first time since waking up.

_Oh, my._

It’s not just the blood traveling around her now trembling body. It’s not just the sweat climbing up her spine. It’s not just the sweet scent of arousal between her legs. It’s how everything hits my nose all at once and how in that moment she moans, “Carm, yesss.”

There is just enough sleep in her voice for me to register that she is, in fact, not awake. There is just enough strength in me to lift myself up and turn my face away to suck in air that hasn’t touched her yet. I am so grateful to my past self for opening a window before we went to sleep. Fresh air fills my lungs and I keep it there.

I don’t do it to keep myself from biting her. I am not the rigid animal this generation’s horrid pop culture perceives me as. When she made my fangs slide out, it was a reflex, not a loss of control. I am never more in control than I am when I’m with her.

I do it for myself. Because however much in control I am, it is still torture to smell all of her without tasting anything of her.

So I don’t intend to waste time when she is having a wet dream about me while lying underneath me. I bend down to place a gentle kiss between her shoulders and I slide a hand along her waist. Her hips thrust forward and she moans again.

“Cupcake,” I whisper against her skin and I kiss my way up towards her neck. That fails to wake her. I raise my hand from her waist and I move her hair away from her ear. My lips take its place and I swirl my tongue around her earlobe. “Laura. Come back to me, love.”

She wakes up with a startle, but doesn’t turn around. It might have to do with the fact that my hand is stroking up her back or that my mouth hasn’t left her ear. I know how sensitive she is to my voice dominating her senses, so I let it reach my lower register and I talk to her. “You were dreaming. And by what my instincts, human or not, are telling me, I know you are having a situation right now.”

I don’t have to see her to know her face is bright pink. I don’t have to see her to know that her answering moan means she is beyond caring about stupid bodily responses like blushing. There are other, more urgent responses that need to be taken care of.

“Carm, I-“

“I know.” I always know. I press my hand to her shoulder so she rolls completely onto her stomach, as I let my naked body cover hers. Sensations feel like they are burning through my skin in the most exquisite ways. I’d gladly combust from this.

My fingers find hers and I move her hand up to her yellow pillow, that I once again have snatched up and placed on my bed, and she brings up her other arm to clutch around it. Good. I want her to hold on. I want her scent and her screams embedded in it, so I can have her here with me even when she’s not.

“Tell me about your dream.” I move my hands to the bedspread on either side of her and slowly rock my hips against her ass. I know she can feel the effect her dream has had on me, even though I haven’t seen the images her mind has painted. It earns me a whimper and a quickening of breath. I can tell it’s hard for her to talk, but if I’m anything, it’s patient. So I keep quiet and wait, while I keep up my steady movements and plant kisses on her neck.

“I dreamt of the night of the party. The- the night we caught you, r-remember?” Her voice is shaky. She has to steady herself to get the words out. My lips curl into a smile.

“Like I could forget, Cupcake.” That is an interesting notion. I am very eager to hear what that busy mind of hers has conjured up. What was it about that night that could have made her _this fucking wet,_ I think as my knee slips between her thighs to press against soft, hot flesh. “Tell me more.”

“Oh god, okay. I-Instead of everyone bursting through the door, you actually k-kissed me and aah Carm!” She buries her face into the pillow because I press harder against her as I remember what I felt in that very moment.

She had been so close. Her eyes were shining with emotion - innocence, curiosity, wonder, fear - but with want. Her body smelled of it. She had wanted me in that moment and by every single one of my phantom heartbeats since my death, I had wanted her too.

Her back arches against me, trying to meet the thrusts of my knee. I realize this and I stop. She whimpers. “Go on, love,” I whisper. “There had to be more than kissing going on in there,” I nuzzle the back of her head, “Because you are positively dripping all over my knee right now.”

I learned only hours ago how much she enjoys dirty talk and it’s evident in the way her heart speeds up even more. Her head turns to the side so she can heave for air and she speaks. “You kissed me and I could feel your tongue.” Her voice is heavy, but steadier now. I guess she is determined to paint her pictures for me too, in hopes that I will fuck her if she does. She’s absolutely right. I will, but I want her to work for it.

I briefly imagine what this is like. How would it feel to have her on top of me, dominating me like this? I have to fight to not shudder, because that thought makes my fangs pop out. _Oh dear._ I make a mental note to revisit that fantasy later, although I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to think of anything else when she is at her lectures tomorrow. But for now, all I want is to immerse myself in her fantasies.

“I felt your fangs, too.” I hum at that and scrape them against her neck to show her that they are very present right now. Apparently she can’t help but gasp and stretch her neck to give me more access. The growl leaves my mouth before I can stop it. It makes her shiver, but to my surprise, she goes on.

“You- You pushed me to my desk and lifted me up on it. You spread my legs and stepped between them.” I run a hand over her ass, down to her thigh and I push it upwards, mirroring Dream Carmilla’s actions. Laura moans and her voice weakens once again.

“Jesus, Carm. I can’t…”

“Oh, yes you can,” I interrupt as I lean on my elbow and use the same hand to grab her hair. Not too hard, but just enough to get the message through. My other hand is still clutching her thigh.

I see her bicep tighten around the pillow. She’s so strong. So tiny, but so strong. And she has asked me to be rough with her.

“You put your hands underneath m-my skirt and ran your hands up my thighs, while… while kissing my neck.” She is struggling, fighting to get there.

I let my hand mirror her dream and run it on the inside of her thigh, from her knee to just under her buttock. My thumb is resting so close to where she wants it to be. Her moan sounds more like a sob.

“Please…”

“Please what?”

“Touch me.”

I’m at that point where I almost give in. She’s so close to telling me what I want to hear. I decide to tease her just a little bit more and I run two fingers oh so lightly through her wetness. I don’t even bother to hold back another growl. I won’t be able to keep it up much longer.

“I am touching you, Laura. And I’ll go further if you tell me what I did next.” I dare to pull a little harder at her hair. It gets me what I want.

“Ugh, god. You didn’t even care t-that I was wearing panties, because you just slid your fingers under and inside me. You- Oh, you fucked me so good, Carm, before waking me.”

It’s what I wanted. I wanted to hear her say it and it was better than I could’ve imagined. I reward her by finally letting those fingers slip inside. I have to close my eyes at the feeling of her fluttering around my digits. I have to remind myself that this is real. I have to convince myself that the safety of having her wrapped around me is not going to leave me. She is here. I am here. Together.

“Yes!” She raises her hips against my hand. I take that as my cue to move. I don’t take my time. I have teased her enough for tonight.

I do it hard and fast, but it’s still tender. I can’t explain it. I wouldn’t even try to explain this. It is futile. I take in her moans, whimpers, sobs and screams. I let her take over. I’m not the one steering this ship into harbor. She is my guide, my anchor, my love.

My fangs find the skin on the side of her neck that doesn’t have a band aid. She doesn’t ask for it, but her head tilts to the side and so she does anyway.

When her blood touches my tongue, my voice joins her melody of moans. I have never heard such music in all my years. It was never like this.

She comes in a series of spasms. We bite together, me on her neck, her on her pillow.

I let her ride out her bliss while I use my tongue to soothe the small cuts I have made. I lick until the bleeding stops. I move my fingers slowly until the spasms stop. And then I roll to my side and pull her close to me, peppering her shoulders with tiny kisses.

When her breathing returns to normal, she turns around in my arms. I silently thank the moon for shining in through our window because it bathes her face in silver. Her beautiful, tired and content face.

She kisses me. It is slow, sure, strong like a tide.

Stronger than I’ve ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want, you can come talk to me on tumblr: honestlynatalie


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after chapter 2. Laura is in class and her mind wanders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you wanted top!Laura. Enjoy.

I hate time. It moves too fast when you don’t want it to, and too damn slow when you want it to go fast. This class just needs to end. I haven’t been paying attention for at least half an hour. My mind is stuck in the bed last night when my super-hot vampire girlfriend fucked me from behind. And all I can think of right now is how badly I want to give her some much needed attention because I fell asleep way too quickly.

It takes me a few seconds to even register that people are getting up from their seats. Finally!

I walk as fast as I can without actually running on my way to our dorm room.

I open the door and walk in to see Carmilla closing the door to the bathroom while wearing only a towel. She looks up and smiles. That could not be more perfect, I think as I rush towards her and claim her lips. I’m not very gentle when I use my whole body to push her up against the door and she actually lets me. She moans because of it and I take both of her hands to almost slam them into the wood above her head. That makes her break the kiss.

“Ah, Jesus Laura! What’s gotten into you?” She breathes while our lips are still touching. Her hips are already responding by grinding against mine.

“I want you.” I look into her eyes to let her know how much.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day in class. I’ve been thinking about how good you made me feel last night. How hot you are inside me. How hot you feel when I’m inside you.” My voice has dropped lower than usual.

She answers with a another moan and reaches with her hands for my waist.

“No,” I say as I grab her wrists again and push them back to where I have decided is their proper place right now. She can probably hold them there for quite some time without getting tired. “Keep them where I put them.” I keep my voice firm. If I’m going to do this, I’m going all in. To my surprise, she actually does what I tell her to. _Fuck,_ that is a new, not unexpected, but a new feeling. It spurs me on, gives me confidence to continue.

I kiss her again, somewhat slowly. I’m very curious to see how much I can tease her before she can’t keep her hands off. They are always on me and I’m not complaining, but judging by the throbbing between my legs and my heavy breathing right now, I’d very much like to be in charge today.

I trail my lips along her perfect, perfect jawline and down to her pulse point. There’s no pulse there, but I don’t care because that’s one of her most sensitive spots. I suck on the soft skin and it gains me a low groan that vibrates beneath my mouth. My hands clutch her waist and pull her against me.

“Do you know how crazy it makes me that with only a flick of my hand that towel can be on the floor, and you’ll be naked?” I whisper against her throat. She doesn’t answer. Her head has rolled back against the door, her mouth is open and her eyes are closed. I see her nostrils flare.

“You can smell it, can’t you? How much I want you right now.”

She swallows and nods her head several times. “Yes, Laura. I can. You have no idea how-“

“Shhh. Don’t talk, just feel.” I silence her with a finger over her lips. She obeys. This is making it difficult to focus. I had expected her to try and turn this around, but being pinned against a door while almost naked seems to be exactly what she wants. And it’s something I definitely want to do. This is a conversation I make a mental note to have with her later.

Her eyes are open now. They are so dark, so glazed, so desperate as they lock onto mine. Her hips haven’t stopped moving. I make sure to meet every thrust, but in a slow rhythm. I’m fully aware that this is making her crazy. I can see it in her eyes, I can hear it in the breathing she doesn’t even need. She always puts her lungs to use when we’re close. I suspect it’s an old human reflex, but it’s also to smell me. I know how much she loves that and I love how much that affects her. It would’ve freaked me out a month ago, but it’s who she is. It’s a way to appreciate me. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

How quickly things can change.

I take a hold of her chin and move her head to the side as I lean forward and lick from her collarbone to her earlobe. “I was so turned on in class. You have no idea. Flashes of last night kept popping up in my head. I almost had to slide a hand down my pants.”

“God.” She’s barely hanging onto my words. It’s a heady feeling.

I reach up for one of her hands and pull it downwards. I guide to the hem of my jeans and push it under my panties. “Do you feel that? Y-you did that without even being in the same room as me.” My voice is faltering a bit because she’s finally touching me and I’m a bit more sensitive than I expected. Carmilla is growling now. Another thing I never would’ve expected to turn me on to such an extent.

She doesn’t move her fingers. I really want her to, but she doesn’t. I realize that I haven’t given her permission. She’s being so obedient. She understands exactly what I want from her right now. It’s so fucking hot to be in such control, and so I don’t ask her to move. Instead I whimper in her ear because I know how much she loves that. I hear a scratching noise from above. I look up to see that her claws are out, scraping down the door.

“You better not be ruining that door, Carmilla. I will not pay for that.”

I move to look at her again. “Put. Them. Away.” I say calmly. They immediately retract.

My hand pulls hers from my pants and I smirk at her. “Good girl,” I say before putting her fingers in my mouth. My eyes close along with my mouth around her digits as I taste myself on her. I moan and I feel her hand shake when I stroke my tongue along her fingers. When I open my eyes she’s staring at my mouth and licking her lips.

I can’t help but kiss her, swirling my tongue around hers, letting her have exactly what those eyes were begging for. She puts her arm up against the door, just like I told her to before. A good girl, indeed.

The towel needs to go. I tug on it and it finally falls to the floor. Breaking the kiss, I look down at her gorgeous body. There are still droplets of water from the shower running down between her breasts. I lean down to lick them off her skin. Her torso arches into me. I move to a breast and take a nipple into my mouth, running my tongue over it. My hand finds her other breast. I let my fingers play with her, teasing, pinching. Wanting her closer, I lift one of her legs to my waist and she wraps it around me. There’s more rumbling coming from her chest, but it’s not growling, it’s-

“Carm, are you purring?” I look up at her with a little grin.

I swear she’s blushing. If that’s even a thing vampires can do. I’ll have to ask her about that later. She’s opening and closing her mouth while her chest is heaving. It looks like I might have rendered her speechless. She’s truly a sight right now. Arms raised, back arched, eyes wide.

 _I’m your new roommate, sweetheart,_ echoes through my mind. I see no resemblance to that in the eyes staring back at me. She’s opening up to me in ways I never thought she would. I love her so much.

“I love you,” I tell her as I sink to my knees while kissing my way down her stomach. I pay extra attention to the skin around her hipbones. It’s my favorite place on her body besides the obvious. My fingers spread on the backside of her thighs, stroking up and down. I let them trail up to her perfect ass while my mouth gets closer and closer to her center.

When my mouth is hovering just over her mound, I make a point to breathe heavily as I tell her, “You can move your hands now.”

She immediately tangles them in my hair when I flatten my tongue against her wet folds. God, the taste. I do my own kind of growling and I press my hands against her ass harder. I want her closer. Lifting one of her legs over my shoulder, I put one hand on the door for support.

“Oh my fucking god!”

Although I’m used to her swearing, it’s a whole different thing when she does it because my tongue is inside her. I love the feeling of her hands pulling my hair to the point where it stings.

I concentrate on running my tongue over her clit in familiar patterns. She’s bucking her hips against me and I actually have to grab her hip and push it against the door to keep her still. I revel in the feeling of her pulsing under my tongue when I start sucking. She’s so close.

“Oh, oh, oh fuck, Laura!”

I stop.

“No, what are you- Please!“ The desperation in her voice is making me shudder. She’s over 300 years old. And she’s begging for me.

“Show me your fangs,” I say as I look up at her, licking her juices off my lips.

She lets them out with a hiss this time.

I’m short, but I’m able to reach her jaw with my hand. I run my thumb over her lips before deliberately and quickly scraping it on a fang. Blood immediately lands on her tongue.

“Suck,” I say as I lean forward to do just that. I feel her lips close around my finger and her tongue running over the small cut to draw out the liquid. I mimic her motions with my tongue against her clit.

Her moaning has turned into small whimpers and she’s coming against my mouth within seconds.

I continue to slowly lap at her, letting her down gently. The hands in my hair release their grip and just hold me while I kiss her hips again.

When I stand up to meet her eyes, there are definitely lazy cat-like qualities to them. She’s quietly purring again.

“How was that?” I ask with a wink.

“Honestly, Cupcake. I think you wore me out.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is not too pleased with Laura wasting precious time in the mornings.

Laura always leaves for class really early. Like, half an hour too early. She’s told me that she wants a good seat and that Silas U is unpredictable. What if she encounters something on the way, like a gnome or something? How will she get a good seat then? I have tried convincing her that if she meets something like that, she’ll probably miss the class all together, but Laura never listens.

I think it has something to do with her need for control.

And I love being the one who makes her lose it, but when it comes to her classes, that is something I haven’t mastered yet. I can make her beg and scream for me in bed. I can make her shake and writhe underneath me, as she momentarily disappears from this world. What I can’t do is keep her wrapped in my arms for half an hour longer in the mornings. I intend to change that.

As she closes the door to the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on, I stretch my body like the cat I am and close my eyes. I push the covers off me. My thoughts drift to that night I woke her from her dream and I made her tell me all about it. But instead of playing the memory over, I switch our roles. My breath immediately catches at the thought, which is a thing Laura has asked me about. She’s smart. It is indeed an old human reflex.

I don’t know why it turns me on this much. I’ve always been more dominant with all of my sexual partners, but enter this tiny human into my life – this tiny human who is stronger and more fierce than I could ever hope to be – and I’m lying in bed, panting at the thought of her holding me down and making me beg. My hand is in my underwear, working at a fast pace when I hear her voice.

“Carmilla?”

I open my eyes to look at her. My hand doesn’t stop. This is part of my plan to keep her here. I lick my lips and moan.

Her eyes are wide as they stare at my hand doing what _her_ hand could be doing instead. I don’t think she’s aware of how fast she’s moving towards me. Laura kneels down by the bed and bends over to look me in eyes. She then kisses me hard and I let out a small noise. I’m already so close. She breaks the kiss.

“Stop.”

My hand stills on its own accord. There’s something in her voice that makes me obey without thinking. It doesn’t stop the whimper that leaves my mouth at the loss of release.

“Did that feel good?” she asks, her lips moving against mine. I nod while raising my head to meet her lips. She pulls slightly away, keeping her mouth just out of reach.

“I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to make me miss class and stay here so I can fuck you senseless. Am I right?”

Jesus fuck.

“Ugh, yes. I- Yes.” I’m already too worked up to even try to be all seductive about it.

She smirks and it almost makes me growl because she’s so smug. She knows she’s got me now. She knows I’d do anything for her in this moment.

(I’d do anything for her in any moment.)

“It’s not going to work. I have to go to class. You know that.”

Damn it.

“But you have no idea how hard it is to leave you here like this.” She moves her mouth to my ear. “I want you. I want to put my hand down your underwear and finish what you started, but I can’t. And now I have to sit in class and think about that. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when I have the image of you like this in my head?”

I open my mouth to answer, but she just continues to whisper into my ear.

“It’s really, really difficult, Carm. It’s going to make me so wet. I’ll probably be squirming in my seat because of you.” The image makes me raise my hips against my hand and she immediately grabs it to stop me from getting any friction. I growl at both the sensation of her touch and the frustration of not getting what I want.

“I have to go now, but there’s something I want you to do for me. If I can’t get what I want, then you’re not getting it either. Now, I don't have your sense of smell or supernatural hearing, so there's absolutely no way I would know if you were lying. But I still choose to trust that you will be good for me and not touch yourself while I'm out. I don't want you to leave this room. I would like for you to stay here and think of me until I come back. Can you do that for me, Carm?“

I’m left speechless as she leans back to look at me, while lifting my hand from my underwear and putting my fingers into her mouth. My eyes widen. I don’t feel immortal anymore.

“Mmm, so good.” She moans and closes her eyes. I can tell it’s difficult for her, but she puts my hand back down on the bed.

“Remember, no touching.” It’s the last thing she says before picking up her bag and leaving the room.

\---

I’ve been pacing the room for 15 minutes. I’ve taken a cold shower. I drank some blood. I have tried reading. I have tried watching some hideous show on Netflix. Hell, I even tried sleeping. It’s what I usually do at this time of the day.

It’s not working.

I take my phone from my pocket and glance at the screen. Her first class should be over now and then she has one more before she’ll be back. And then what? What is she going to do?

Will she push me up against the door again and sink down to her knees?

My eyes close as I remember how good it felt to be taken like that. I can’t do this. There is no way in hell that I’m able to not do something about this ache. I am not a ‘good girl’. I do what I want. I’m a vampire for fucks sake. I can make myself come whenever I want to.

And who am I kidding? The thrill of doing it because she said I couldn’t is making it hotter.

I slip into our bed. The one we made by pushing our two beds together. As soon as Perry had seen it, she actually tried some spiel about school rules, but a simple flash of fangs had shut her up. As if I was going to let anyone stop me from being closer to Laura.

I can smell her all around me and it only adds to my frustration. Screw this, I need to come. I close my eyes, revisiting my earlier fantasy and let my hand do its magic.

\---

I'm sitting in bed wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, deeply engulfed by the book I'm now able to read without losing my concentration. As soon as the door opens, I look up and it's completely gone.

There's a look in her eye. I recognize it from that day she made me come up against the door. I swallow. I can feel something I identify as guilt when she slowly walks towards me. It’s strange because guilt is something I learned to suppress a very long time ago. It only came back to visit me after I met her. It's been pretty dormant lately. Until now.

Now it's heating up the back of my neck like I'm some kind of _human_. Since when do I feel guilty about touching myself? No, it's not the touching part. I know exactly what it is that's making me feel like this. It's ridiculous! I can do this. I can keep this all to myself. She doesn't have to know.

Laura reaches the edge of the bed and wastes no time in straddling me. She pries the book from my hands and places it on the shelf behind the bed. She throws her long hair over her shoulder and smiles down at me.

"Hey," she says while looking into my eyes.

"Hey."

Oh god. I can't do this. "I did it. I tried not to, but I- I just. You weren't here and I-"

She puts a finger to my mouth, effectively stopping my near rambling. Jesus, who am I?

Laura's smile leaves her face and my stomach drops. She doesn't look angry. If I would describe that look, I'd say determined. God, she's on a mission. I hardly have time to entertain the thought that she knew this would happen all along, before she leans down, her lips inches away from mine. I instinctively lean forward, but she pulls back just of reach like earlier this morning.

A smirk appears this time, before she turns her head and leans towards my ear.

"I've been sitting in class for hours. I've had to listen to endless babbling, that is probably important babbling, but I haven’t heard a single thing that’s been said. Do you know why?”

I know why, but I don’t dare to say anything in case she stops this welcome attack on my senses. She’s invading all of them. I hear her heart, I smell her blood, her shampoo, her want. Her voice is darker than I’ve ever heard it and the vibrations are travelling from my ear to my whole body.

"Because my mind stayed behind when I left. The things we did, Carm…” She trails off. Her breathing picks up when I raise my hips.

“Stop.” One of her hands lands on my waist, pressing down, and I do. How is she doing this? And can she please never stop?

“So while my mind was having its way with you, my body didn’t have that privilege. Do you want to feel what that does to me?”

I nod and my hand is already reaching for her pants, but she grabs it and places it on her thigh. “Too bad,” is all she says before sitting up straight.

I watch as she slips a hand inside her pants and pushes it down. She moans and closes her eyes. I’m so close to just grabbing her and having my way with her, but I manage to hold back. Both of my hands are grabbing her thighs now. I make sure not to squeeze too hard in case she removes them from her body completely. If this is the only way I get to touch her, I'm not about to throw that away. I surely deserve some kind of medal for this.

“Mmm. This feels really good.” She moves her hips against her hand, creating a rhythm that only reminds me that friction is something I really need right now.

“Ah, I wish you hadn’t touched yourself before I got here because I really, really want this to be your fingers, but I don’t think y- you deserve it.”

The only response I can manage is a growl. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I never used to growl so often before. She truly brings out my animal.  
My eyes are glued to her face. It’s all scrunched up in a frown, her mouth slightly open. She runs her tongue over her bottom lip before biting down on it. God, I want to be the one to do that.

Her pace is speeding up and her breathing follows. I want to hear her moan, but stops her movement and gets up. I’m about to protest, when she quickly pulls her pants and underwear off. I shamelessly let my eyes rake over her half naked body while she settles on top of me again. The scent of her is a lot more distinct now. It makes my mouth water. My hands find their way back to her thighs.

Her hands cover mine, bringing them up to her waist, so I’m brushing the hem of her shirt. I don't dare to move. “Take it off.” I don’t hesitate. Her shirt is gone in seconds. “All of it.” Her bra follows and she’s naked. The amount of self-control I’m maintaining right now is truly astounding to me. I honestly don’t know how I’m putting my hands back on her thighs.

“Take off your shirt, Carmilla.”

I obey and pull it over my head to drop it on the floor.

She leans forward and whispers, "Touch me," against my lips before she finally kisses me. There's nothing slow about it. Her tongue is in my mouth, easily communicating who's in charge here.

When both my thumbs grace her nipples, Laura moans and grounds herself against my stomach and I finally get to feel how wet she is. If my heart could beat, it would leave my chest.

She slides back a bit, creating some space between us. I look down at her flushed body as she places a hand on my shoulder, while the other starts stroking herself right there in front of me. I see how effortlessly her fingers slide over soaked folds and it makes my mouth water. The strong scent of arousal and adrenaline-filled blood is almost overwhelming.

She momentarily stills her hand and raises her hips before sinking down on her fingers. I watch them disappear inside her. It’s one of the most erotic displays I have ever seen. My fangs are out before I can stop them. I pinch her nipples and the combination of sensations makes her moan.

Her hips raise and fall again and she moans even louder. I’m pretty sure this is going to make me insane as I start to roughly palm her breasts. I lean forward to kiss her neck. She hasn’t told me to, but this is instinct really, and she doesn’t protest. She only keeps moving.

She’s speeding up. The bed is creaking.

My mouth is moving on her neck, sucking and licking. Her hand is moving fast and she’s moaning loudly. Oh, how I wish I was inside her, so I could feel her fluttering around me.

Laura leans forward again, her mouth targeting my throat this time. Her tongue starts working on my skin, making the ache between my legs throb harder for attention. I keep up my claim on her neck.

"Fuck. Oh god, yes. Do- do you know what I really like, Carmilla?" She can barely get the words out between her soft mewls.

“What?” I ask. I sound so impatient.

"I like it when you growl for me, baby."

I grip a handful of her hair to pull her head back, exposing her neck to me. I waste no time in running a flat tongue from her collarbone and up to the sensitive spot behind her ear. There is no doubt in my mind that she is going to come in seconds. Her strong thighs are quivering, every breath is accompanied by short whimpers, the hand on my shoulder is gripping me so hard that, were I a human, I would be in pain. I want to be the one to make her fall. And so I let a deep rumble in my chest take her over, pulling out the orgasm denied to her all day.

She gasps and bends into me, and I hold her. I’m clutching her to me and placing kisses to every patch of skin in my reach. We slide down into the bed. I let her rest on top of me and I would be so perfectly content with this, had it not been for the fact that I’m about to explode from wanting her, _needing_ her.

I push my hips upwards because I can absolutely not stand this anymore. After being alive for this long, I should have patience coming out of my ears, but there is only so much this vampire can take. My exhausted lover opens her eyes to look at me and I guess whatever she sees is a cure for exhaustion because she decides to meet my hips with her own in a slow grind.

Too slow. Too hot. Not enough.

I’m about to reach for my pants, but she stops my hands before pinning them above my head.

“You don’t get to do that. I’ve waited all day.” The tone of her voice right now is my favorite, the glint in her eyes my weakness. She’s staring at me. Dear god, is she going to tease me? I’m not entirely sure if I can take that.

I feel her hands release mine and stroke down my arms. My eyes close. I know better than to move and she knows that. She knows that she’s in charge. It’s such a fucking turn-on how confident she is with me.

(I never let them do this.)

This is problematic. I need her. I depend on her. I am so, so in love and I’m more scared than I have ever been. What if lose her? What if she doesn’t want me anymore? What if she leaves? What if-

“I love you.”

And there it is. All I need. The muscles I didn’t know was tightening, relaxes. The breath I didn’t know I was holding, exhales and inhales her. My eyes open to see her lifting her head from where it was resting in the crook of my neck.

“Are you okay?”

(I never was until now.)

“Yes.”

The silence is comfortable. Her smile is comforting, but smug. It lasts for a while and it dawns upon me that she knows that this is exactly what I needed. She already knows my body better than I do. Of course she felt me tense up.

“Laura?”

“Yes?”

“Kiss me.”

She kisses me like I’m air, like she needs me. It occurs to me that she does.

That knowledge reminds me what we were doing before my insecurities took over. My body is tense again, but for completely different reasons. Her tongue graces mine and I can’t really hide my eagerness to taste more of her. I lift my head and for once today she doesn’t pull away. It’s fast and urgent, with quick strokes and clashing teeth. Her hands are on my breasts, kneading and pinching before pausing to remove my bra. I arch my back when she touches me again, moaning into her mouth. I’m bound to come from this. I honestly wouldn’t care. It doesn’t matter as long as she doesn’t stop touching me.

Warm hands trail down my abdomen to the waistband of my sweats and she’s forced to break the kiss. She does not take her time.

Thank god.

The pants are hastily removed and her mouth is on my inner thigh, a hot tongue caressing my skin and moving upwards.

“Fuck, Laura.” I want to grab her hair, but something tells me I should just keep my hands where they are. My fists clench.

She strokes both of my thighs before roughly yanking my panties off. _Yes, finally._ I’m so close to begging, but I don’t have to because she doesn’t waste time in running a flat tongue over my wet slit up to my clit.

“Aaah, Jesus Christ. Yes!”

I hear her moaning when I push my hips upward to meet her tongue. God, I love that tongue. She doesn’t tease. She knows I need to come. Firm, flat strokes are taking me closer and closer to the point where I can’t stop myself from bringing a hand down to her hair.

I know I’ve fucked up the moment she stops.

“No, no, no Laura. I- God.”

I can’t help the mindless canting of my hips, but she crawls up my body and stops them with her hand.

“Did I tell you to move your hands?” I shake my head, having a hard time meeting her eyes. They are full of want. She’s enjoying this so much. I’d growl at her, but I’m too far gone to even care about her power over me right now. I just need her to keep touching me.

“Right. Now, let’s try this again,” She says while pushing my hands upwards again, pressing them down against her yellow pillow. Her body stretches out, covering mine and it makes me sigh. I feel her everywhere. It takes everything I have not to grab her and grind.

“Keep them there, so I can concentrate on fucking you.”

_Fuck_.

I whimper because I need that to be true.

She bends down to kiss me hard and I can taste myself on her. She leaves a hand around my wrists while slowly trailing the other down my arm, to my throat, to my breast, to my hip, to my thigh. It’s the most exquisite kind of torture to have her touching me like this. To have her circling my thigh, like she’s writing love songs on my skin.

She can sing them to me later.

“Please.” I break our kiss.

Damn it. The deep, dark, brooding vampire. I can’t even keep up that façade anymore.

“Mmm, say that again,” She hums against my jaw.

She’s enjoying this way too much, but I just can’t bring myself to care. I make sure to sound as desperate as possible when I beg in her ear again. I don’t have to try hard at all.

“Please, Laura.”

She finally gives me what I’ve been waiting for since this morning, running her fingers through my wetness before pushing two of them inside me. She’s moving slowly. I’m guessing she’s taking in the sensations of having me wrapped around her, as I would do with her. But this is just not the time for slow. I arch into her to get my point across. She gets it and increases her pace.

“Oh fuck, yes.”

I feel her add another finger and it stretches me deliciously. The hand around my wrists tightens as she starts sucking on my neck. I’m losing myself in sensations. I’m losing myself in her.

She fucks me harder, faster, better.

“Come. I want you to come for me.” Her breathing is so heavy. Like she’s putting everything into making that happen, all of her strength working to get me there. Because she wants to. Oh, what a thought that is.

And then I’m coming. Clenching and moaning, shaking and gasping like I need air too. But the air is filled with her and I definitely need her. She releases my arms and I wrap them around her while she keeps moving slowly against me. Her lips are placing kisses on my collarbones, mending the marks she put there.

There are things I need to learn about this. Things I don’t understand about being hers, but some things are very clear to me.

This is safety. This is home.


End file.
